Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
