there was a trapeze. enough said
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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