I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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