no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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