Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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