What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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