oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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