Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
