I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
