they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
