apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
