I think I won the penis lottery.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
