I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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