never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize