I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
