Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
