Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
