You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
