Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
