he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
