he thought i was a dude.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
