You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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