Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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