yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
