you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
