I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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