apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
