Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
