i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
What a dumb baby whore.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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