Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize