I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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