I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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