There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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