You're completely useless in the revolution.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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