i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize