He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
