and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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