in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
