I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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