It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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