Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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