if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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