i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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