Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
