He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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