I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize