Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My vagina is officially offended.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
