Whatcha textin bout Willis?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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