it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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