No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
