quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
