i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
That was before I lit my hair on fire
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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