Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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