I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
