Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I did not marry a roomba.
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