so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he thought i was a dude.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
