it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
