Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
