Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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