And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
