Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
