do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
