WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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