I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
