come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
