were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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