The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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