i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
