The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
