That's intense
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize