Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
