Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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