just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
